


I am afraid of crossing lines (I am afraid of flying blind)

by aquilasaurus



Series: Like Your Heart Could Break In Two: A Hacksqueak Story [4]
Category: The Worst Witch (TV 2017)
Genre: Confessions, F/F, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Kissing, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 14:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17184410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquilasaurus/pseuds/aquilasaurus
Summary: Hecate confesses to Ada what happened with Pippa. Ficlet.Day 27 of the Winter Fluff Event: Fireside Confessions.





	I am afraid of crossing lines (I am afraid of flying blind)

“I kissed Pippa.”

Silence.

Hecate shifted uncomfortably in her chair, keeping her eyes on the fireplace. She hadn’t meant to say it at all, let alone so bluntly, but slipped out before she had time to catch it between her lips. She felt the flush of shame all over again, just as she had the night before, when she’d transferred away in a hurry, to stop herself falling into bed with Pippa.

She couldn’t bear to look at Ada, who was surely processing the rage or grief or confusion that her betrayal was causing. She was sure that if she looked up, the hurt in Ada’s eyes would knock her to the floor. In this moment, this somehow infinite, fragile silence, she doubted whether their relationship would survive Hecate’s extravagant prurience. As she panicked, her thoughts spiraled faster, her vision fogged, and she detached from the room. Her ears rang with the silence. Only the touch of Ada’s fingertips on her arm could bring her back.

Ada was peering at her, not with grief or anger, but with compassion. “I had thought you might.”

Of all the ways Hecate might have expected Ada to respond to her confession, that was not one of them. She felt her jaw detach, but no words came out.

“Hecate, are you in love with Miss Pentangle?”

“No,” she answered, too quickly. She bit her lip. “I don’t know.”

Ada took both of Hecate’s hands in hers and pulled her close. “Look at me, darling.” Hecate did as she was instructed. “Nothing you could do would make me stop loving you.”

Hecate swallowed hard. “I broke your trust in me.”

“No, Hecate. The fact that your guilt is eating you alive is proof enough that you aren’t about to leave me. And I doubt you’ll be rushing to carry on behind my back.”

That was true enough.

“But we’ll need to establish some procedures.” Hecate gaped at her. _Procedures?_

“The first thing I will need is honesty. You are punishing yourself for your feelings, and using me as your pretext. I would prefer not to bear the blame for your continued self-flagellation.”

Hecate winced at that. Ada, as always, was precise like a surgeon, and she offered no anaesthetic. It did not take a telepath to know that Hecate was hard on herself, but even she could see that her current behavior was a means of self-torment. And it was leeching into her relationship with Ada: if she continued to use Ada as the reason to avoid addressing her feelings for Pippa, she might grow resentful toward an innocent witch.

“You’re right, Ada. I have been a… coward.” She broke eye contact again and hung her head, like a child.

“Come now,” said Ada, lifting Hecate’s chin and gazing into her eyes. “Emotions can be overwhelming, and I am fully aware that vulnerability is not your strong suit. But I will be here to support you, and Pippa is obviously a patient woman. Take all the time you need.”

Hecate felt as if something had been decided upon without her agreement. “The time I need for _what_ , exactly?”

“To sort out what you want,” Ada replied, as if it were obvious. “I admit that I harbor no attraction to Miss Pentangle myself, so I would not like to be involved in anything you decide to pursue, nor would I like to be regaled with the gory details. But, if the two of you have feelings for each other, I see no reason to deny yourselves the opportunity to explore them if you choose. You are an expert in self-denial: please, Hecate, don't do it in my name.”

The message had been received. Hecate must try to understand her feelings instead of ignoring them, for all their sakes. Hecate placed her hands on both of Ada’s cheeks and brought their faces together. Resting her forehead on Ada’s, knowing she would sound like a child again, she asked for the reassurance she craved. “You won’t leave me?”

 “Not for anything, as long as you can be honest with me.” Ada smiled, tilting her chin to close the distance between their lips. She kissed Hecate softly, and Hecate finally relaxed against her, threading her fingers through Ada’s hair and tugging gently at the roots. She was home.

“Let’s say no more about it, tonight.”


End file.
